As we observe our close friends, family and peers and want to offer advice, its imperative for us to put ourselves in their shoes. When you see them suffering emotionally or physically and wonder why they don't leave a situation, its important for us to understand why it is better said than done.
Two words, trauma bonding, which could cause a victim to form an addiction with their abuser.
This is something to take into account for every addict. It is called the pink cloud syndrome. With this syndrome, you may feel euphoria while being sober for a few weeks. Or as Burna Boy would say, "sitting on top of the world"!
Sooner or later, you begin to relapse. This concept exists with all addictions, including toxic relationships - especially due to manipulation from a narcissist or abuser. Here’s how…
In a way, you brain is beginning to balance itself out once you begin to sober up or leave your abuser. For this reason you start to feel empowered and high off of life. The thing is, this high doesn't last long and unfortunately, depression comes right behind it as you adjust to your "new" life. When you leave an abuser or narcissist, you may feel unstoppable. Rather you removed yourself from an naricissitc friend orfamily member or left an abusive partner with the goal to take control of your life.. either way, you feel liberated!
In the stage, with any addiction, you begin to think "maybe one text wont hurt" or you start to feel guilty and doesn't think about all of the abuse you've endured. Sometimes, the narcissist will break their silent treatment with a touching message and create a pink cloud experience. They really seem genuine this time!
Maybe you even blame yourself again. It’s common to begin to doubt yourself and how powerful you are. Don't fall for it! The narcissist knows what you love about them. They also know what you hate. They’re simply using your emotions and saying what you want to hear so they can manipulate you into staying in the relationship.
Don’t be mistaken: the abuse will continue.
5 Signs That You’re Pink Clouding
Sometimes you’ll experience a pink cloud after you’ve left the narcissist. Other times, you may not have made the decision to leave but are still going through withdrawals from the narcissist’s silent treatment.
Depending on your situation, keep an eye out for these signs that you need to stay vigilant and begin recovery for good.
- You’re rationalizing. The narcissist was just stressed out and didn’t mean what they said during that last fight. You’re not innocent either – who is?
- YOLO. If your emotions feel this strong and the narcissist hasn’t given up yet, surely there must be something there, right? What if this is the love of your life and you’re throwing it away?
- Just one more time. One text/date/conversation can’t hurt. They seem to care now and now is what matters. Why shouldn’t you give them another chance?
- You feel giddy. The narcissist is showering you with affection and it feels like the initial stages of the relationship again. You write off all of the bad times in favor of this fleeting feeling.
- You’re isolating yourself. You stopped texting your friends or support system about the relationship and you’re pretending everything is fine again.